I am a full-time Stay-at-Home-Mom (SAHM). I have days that I love what I do and days when I wish I had a job that would take me out of the house, and yes, away from the kids for a while. My days consist of multi-tasking and more multi-tasking. But would it be any easier to go to work during the day and then have to do everything else at night or on the weekends? Here’s a snap-shot of what a morning looked like when I needed to get out of the house:
Working Mom:
Now, I don’t actually work outside of the house but I did have an 8:30 a.m. appointment last week about 20 minutes from where I live. This meant, that in addition to getting two kids ready for school and a toddler ready for the babysitter, I had to get myself dressed and put on some make-up–two tasks that to someone without young children, are pretty easy. But when you have lunches to pack, kids to dress, breakfast to make and a toddler who just wants to sit and nurse, trying to add taking care of myself (which involves actually being myself for a few minutes) it seems almost daunting.
Since I had to wear something other than yoga pants and a t-shirt to the appointment, I had to get up before the children. Waiting until they were awake, would have meant wasting precious seconds alone in which my unsupervised children might have gotten into any number of things that I would need to then clean up. After fixing breakfast for the kids, changing a poopy diaper, then dressing the kids, and trying to pack my first grader’s lunch, I threw on some make-up. Thank goodness I only needed to pull off looking human and not professional.
In order to get the girls to school on time and myself to my appointment on time, I had to leave the house looking like a hurricane had come in the front door and out the back door: There were dishes piled in the sink, pajamas left were they fell on the floor, and beds that were never made. I just couldn’t clean up and get ready at the same time. And later when I arrived back at home, I had to clean up the detritus left over from the morning routine, in addition to all of the things I had to do in the afternoon. It was a LOT and I’m not sure I could do that every day or if I would eventually develop a system that would somehow make things easier, that didn’t involve staying up incredibly late to do it all the night before.
Working Parents, how do you do it? Do you have a time and energy saving system to make your life run smoothly or is it a scramble of endless multi-tasking like it was for me?
Stay Tuned for Stay-at-Home-Mom’s morning next week!
P.S. I do have a husband and he does help…some. But he has to get himself ready and out the door too so there’s only so much he can do.
That sounds about right. I am a SAHM and expecting my second child. They will be 22 months apart and thinking back to when my first was a little baby I wonder how I will even manage to take a bite!
I’ve been thinking about how different these two “lives” are lately. I’m a recent SAHM, quit my job of 11 years (5 of which I was a working mom) with the birth of my second child 9 months ago. I agree – both are hard, but in entirely different ways! However, just like a SAHM, A working mom does develop a routine, and more importantly, so do the children. And the house doesn’t get as messy because no one is there to mess it up. A good 20-30 minutes in the evening usually has everything back to normal with the actual “cleaning” done on Saturday. I can’t say either is easier, just different. But I much prefer being a SAHM mom, I never adjusted to dropping my child off with a sitter, that emotional battle every day was just awful.
I am finally a stay at home after 9 years.ever since I could remember I just wanted to have children and stay home with them. now I can. 4 kids later I am fulltime home. it is a challenge everyday to get out the door to take my 2 older boys to school. sure I could get up an hour earlier an put them on the bus but they are on the bus for an hour and we only live 5 min from the school. So I get them up and fed and dressed. then I wake up my 5 yr old and 1 yr old and head out the door. but I have to change the babies diaper first so their are no blow outs on our way. when I first started staying home I was extremely overwhelmed when I felt like I was home and everything needed to b done. that thee shouldn’t be any dirty clothes in the laundry room toys on the floor,etc. I wasn’t spending any quality time with my kids who where home with me. once I felt like I wanted to go back to work I had to sit down and figure out balance. during naptime I clean as much as can get done. during . moment of peaceful playing I switch laundry but once my older boy get home I have them help me clean up what is out and before bed it’s all cleaned up with the help of everyone. I do not overwhelmed myself any longer with things that I know will be there later. I am enjoying every minute I can spend with my kids and house work and laundry will be there later. my kids are growing too fast to worry over little things right now. best of luck being a SAHM!!!
I have a thirteen month old daughter and teach full-time. It is an incredible struggle! Our house is never clean, the laundry is never done and most days I go to work feeling like I look thrown together. Not a moment passes during the seven hours I am at work that I do not miss my daughter, and I hate knowing that I am missing out on the precious days while she is this small. Plus, I am not the same teacher I was two years ago. After just eight months of work since returning from maternity leave, my husband and I are desperately trying to stretch our budget to allow me to stay home at least part-time.
I work work a full time job (suppose to be 40h – 5 days), and am considered full time at 30 hours, 3 days. I get to spend more time with my son 2 days of week but I have alot of pressure at work… they still want me to get my job done. It’s a tough balance and a tough job. But I like the mix of still working and spending more time at home.
I worked full-time with two boys (6yr, 18mo) then when we were expecting our 3rd I opted to go to a part-time, work at home schedule. I stay home with the now 2yr old & 4 month old while our 6 yr old goes to school. It is still a huge struggle to find time to get all the housework done, cooking, and actual WORK while taking care of the kids. But I find I really like this situation much better than working full-time & coming home to all the work! No matter what your situation is, it is always hard work!
I’m a full time SAHM too. That about sums up my morning when we have an appointment too. Now we’re expecting baby number three and I have a really hard time dragging myself out of bed in the morning, so I just try and schedule all of our appointments in the afternoon, to give myself more time. Works for me.
Still have several loads of laundry that need to be put away though.
Great article. I think more people should realize that both situations are tough jobs for different reason. Being a SAHM is just as valid and important as being a working mom, AND being a working mom is just as valid and important as being a SAHM. So glad this is a place where both are recognized as being valuable.
I agree that more people should realize that both situations are tough jobs for different reasons. I stay at home with our 9-month old one day a week and then work 4 10-hour days to get a 40-hour week in at the office. It’s not an easy schedule but I’m happy to do it. I feel like I get a little taste of both worlds and I like that…it keeps me balanced. I’ve learned, as you said, to multi-task as well as the importance of prioritization (both at work and at home). I’ve also learned to use the resources around me more (why spend valuable time ironing my husband’s shirts when it’s just over a dollar to have them laundered and pressed) as well as use my friends who are SAHM…sometimes they have solutions for things that I haven’t had time to solve when it comes to baby/family/life.
I am a SAHM. I don’t understand how those who have to work can get out of the house and to work on time. I have two little ones and it is hard to get anywhere on time. We are usually always a few minutes late. I was working out of the house when I had just the one, but that was hard because I hated having someone else with him 40 hours a week. It killed me.
I’m a full-time working mama to a 15 month old. My husband is amazing! He does much more than his fair share around our home and he handles mornings on his own (my job starts at 6am). Having a cleaning lady come once per week was hugely helpful, though she just moved out of town this month and we haven’t found a replacement yet. Tidiness is a real struggle but we somehow muddle through. I think the biggest help for us is that we live in a two-bedroom rented apartment — no maintenance work for us, less space to clutter and clean
Having been both a working mom and a stay at home mom, I definitely agree that both are hard!
Great article! It’s a life changing situation.
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