Last week my blog was about the challenges working moms face as they try to successfully manage both housework, childcare and getting themselves dressed and out the door on time. This week, I address the balancing act of simultaneously doing household chores and round-the-clock childcare. Or as a recent Facebook post of mine said “Maybe I’ll drill a few holes in the bottom of a bucket and then spend the next two hours trying to keep it full of water. Or I’ll just clean the house while the kids are at home. Equally fulfilling tasks, really.”
Stay-At-Home Mom:
Usually after the girls are out the door and on their way to school I take about 20 minutes or so to make the beds and clean up the kitchen from the breakfast-eating and lunch-making mess. Then I use the time that I have only one child at home (as opposed to two or three) to head to the gym or to do errands outside of the house. Yesterday I decided to stay at home so that I could “get a few things done.” My list had three things on it: 1) Call Soccer Tots to confirm Cooper’s registration, 2) Peel and cook carrots, 3) wipe down walls and doors. I had two and a half hours before I had to leave to pick up our preschooler. Plenty of time, right?
First, I sat down at the desk to use the phone. Cooper, sticking to me like glue as usual, hurried over to my side and pulled open the desk drawer. Because I was on the phone I wasn’t quick enough to stop him from ripping his sister’s dream catcher out of the drawer and breaking one of it’s strings. At least a dozen beads rolled under the desk, under the fridge and the rest landed on the floor under my feet: choking hazzard! I finished the phone call, quickly picked up the beads with one hand and snatched a few from Cooper’s fists. I stuffed the broken dream catcher in the trash, hoping Lauren wouldn’t miss it.
Next I got out the carrots, knowing that if I could get them peeled and on the stove, they could boil while I wiped down the walls. I led Cooper to the toys and tried to get him interested in driving cars around on the carpet so that I could peel the carrots without his help. That lasted for about two carrots and soon he was back by my side. Mid-peel I got a whiff of…a dirty diaper. Up we went to change into a clean cloth diaper. Back the the carrots. Next Cooper opened the cabinet door where I had stowed a huge unopened bag of organic sugar. As I grabbed it and heaved it on to the counter and out of his reach, sugar started pouring from the bottom of the bag. I’d punctured it when I put it carelessly on top of my vegetable steamer. As quickly as I could, I turned the bag upside down to stop the cascading granules. The pressure of the air moving inside the bag shots one last geyser of sugar into the air and it landed on top of my bare feet and sprinkled onto the hardwood floor. I let it stay on the floor long enough to finish peeling the carrots, and then finally plopped them into a pot of water to boil.
When I’d finally swept up the sugar, I noticed another cloud of stink trailing after Cooper as he ran past. Another poopy diaper. By the time I’d dealt with that it was time to go pick up Kate, which meant putting a coat, hat and boots on a running toddler who was screaming with laughter until I caught him. Then he became a screaming and flailing toddler as I stuffed his arms and feet into warmer clothes. I’d finished two small chores in a little over two hours and didn’t even come close to starting the third. What was I able to accomplish the rest of the day, with not only Cooper but his four-year-old sister at home? Well, let’s just say one step forward, two steps back is how we roll.
So who has it harder? The working parent who is scrambling to get everyone, including herself dressed, and out the door on time–not to mention remembering permission slips, book reports and her own daily appointments and then gets to come home to the morning mess which needs to be picked up while cooking dinner, changing diapers, helping with homework and otherwise micromanaging dependents? Or the mom who only gets to leave the house when she’s dragging unwilling companions to the grocery store and is cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry non-stop all while keeping one or more young children both alive and content? The answer: Both types of moms work hard. It’s just different.
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I think the hardest is being a work at home mom
Not only do you have to juggle between taking care of your kids, housework and meals, you also have to fit in your work.
You have it there. All moms work hard no matter what. I’m so tired of the competition! I compromise and work out of the house 3 days a week. I leave before the rest of the family is awake so that I can get in a 10-hr day. As much as I’d love to just go to sleep after baby is asleep, that’s when laundry, dishes and such need to be done. But the two days I’m home when my husband is at work are even more exhausting than my paid work days! Between the 4 mo who doesn’t nap for long & the 3 yo who doesn’t put toy A away before getting toy B out & doesn’t nap at all most days, I’m lucky if I keep up with the kitchen, let alone anything else. One day my only goal was to get dinner prepped early enough that I could do one final step before shoving the chicken in the oven. Water & rice in rice cooker at 11, broccoli washed & in cooking pot with water in cooking pot at 12. Great! Didn’t even start slicing the chicken until after 5. (I can’t figure out how to slice/chop while babywearing!)
I agree. Both types of moms work hard. I sometimes get frustrated as a stay at home mom because when I list out in my mind what I accomplished…it hardly seems like “work”. Though I am tired at the end of the day and my work is needful. Something as simple as cooking a meal or cleaning and wiping down the table can take quite a long time when a little one shadows you! I respect the woman who works and is a mom. It is tough being a working momma! I am a stay at home mom, and I feel we work just as hard.
While I am sure being a stay-at-home mom has it’s challenges, I am SO jealous!
I am a stay-at-home mom and a part-time student finishing my bachelor’s degree. I’ve had to learn to manage my time well and not to assume that there will be time for something later. There is no getting homework done if the kids are awake, even if I plop them in front of a TV show, so if I have some time I have to take advantage of it. Normally I arrange my schedule so that I have class in the morning and I come home in the afternoons so that I can do homework during the kids’ naps, but this semester my classes were only offered in the afternoon, so I feel like I am running around all day! I am an introvert, and one of the things I have found about myself is that I need quiet time, alone and at home, or I get mentally and physically exhausted. I can’t imagine working eight hours a day somewhere and then adding the rush of getting kids to daycare/school and then back home. It would be pretty rough on me.
I know that being a SAHM is the hardest but most rewarding job ever. I stayed with my preemie twins for 6 months after their premature birth @29 weeks. I had to eventually go back due to medical bills. Sometimes I wonder if they even know I’m their mother
so sad. I would stay at home in a second!
I think it is funny that part of each mom wishes she did the other. I know I am a stay at home mom and though I love my kids and being able to be with them, I do miss having adult time or being able to go to the bathroom by myself. My kids aren’t in school so I am constantly trying to keep them active while maintaining the house.
Very true. I’m planning to work part time so I’ll be juggling both ways;)
I’m sure both ways are a struggle…I can’t imagine the difficulty of leaving babies to go to work and then come home to all of the responsiblities..but it is true that the whole day fills up, and mini-oopses happen all day long (bag of sugar all over the floor) etc. I think its taking one day at a time, counting our blessings and being grateful for everything each day. Starting over tomorrow.
The grass is always greener right? Your right though…we all work hard!
I have spent an equal amount of my 6 years as a parent doing both, and even though I really enjoy working and I prefer it to being a sahm most days, it comes with a lot more stress and mommy guilt than staying home ever did.
I love being a SAHM and now that my big kids are older I have help around the house and with the little ones. It’s much easier than it was when I had two, was working and taking them to school.
When money’s tight, work-at-home opportunities can sound like just the thing to make ends meet. Some even promise a refund if you don’t succeed. But the reality is many of these jobs are scams. The con artists peddling them may get you to pay for starter kits or certifications that are useless, and may even charge your credit card without permission.’
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