I know, I know; you’re probably wondering why on Earth I’m thinking about this. Well, it was all prompted by my friend’s Facebook status on Mother’s Day. My friend, Daphne, posted this on her Facebook profile, “It’s a bittersweet Mother’s Day today. Grateful for [my son] E and the joy, laughter, love and entertainment he brings to our life and has for the last 2.5 years. But also mourning for the two sweet babies we recently lost to two miscarriages. So this Mother’s [D]ay, hug your little ones just a little tighter, hold them just a little longer and remember we get to be moms because of them! Thank you God for E!” When your friend hurts you hurt; it’s the law of friendship. I wondered how Daphne was feeling, if she had confided in someone or at least let others know the loss she was mourning that weekend.

Depression. Miscarriage. Infertility. All three are isolating. No mother chooses to struggle with depression. No mother wants to feel the pain and loss of life from within her womb. No woman longs to feel emptiness as she walks through infertility. And yet sometimes we feel like we have to walk through this alone.

Daphne shared with me that her reason for sharing the news of her miscarriage with people was because people had been asking her when she was going to become pregnant again. The pain that the question caused encouraged her to be open with people about what she was going through. By sharing her own experience with others she’s found comfort in the arms of friends, encouragement in the form of living plants given to her by friends and prayers whispered to help heal her heart.

What are we waiting for? Are we waiting for someone to ask us if we’re struggling? Here I go: Hi, my name is Bert and I’ve been diagnosed with depression since my son was four months old. The first four months of my son’s life were very dark and while I have slipped back into my depression twice since my diagnosis. I’m in a good place now and I’m so thankful for this. 

• Fast diaper changes: If you have a squirmy baby like my little Kendall then all of those snaps can be a major pain. Aplix makes for an uber fast diaper change. You don’t have to match up snaps to get the perfect fit. Wham bam thank you ma’am, diaper change doneso! 
• Less intimidating for those who aren’t familiar with cloth diapers. My mom always comments on the number of snaps on some of my newer diapers. It’s not that it’s more difficult to use a diaper that has snaps but in my opinion it’s the intimidation factor.
• No indents on baby’s skin. Now, this is probably more telling in how I put a diaper on than anything else but I have found that some snaps leave an indentation on the hips of my daughter. Is it a deal breaker? No, but it just further cements my feelings on Aplix.

This is why I love Thirsties; they offer BOTH my beloved Aplix and the close second is, of course, snaps. And my all time favorite diaper cover is Thirsties’ diaper cover…look at the closure. Mmmmhmmm! I rest my case.

Tell me, are you an Aplix Babe or a Sassy Snaps Mama?

Typically I’m a tougher mom than to let my four and a half year old affect my emotions so much but after the fifth demand to watch a TV show and the fifth meltdown at the undesired answer of his request I had reached my limit. It probably has more to do with the fact that my lady friend was visiting that day so hormones were definitely raging.

After a few more tantrums I did what any mom in today’s world would do: I took to the world of social media to voice my frustrations. “I feel like all I am seen as today is a maid and cook,” I declared to the Facebook world. Seeing my job change announcement my other mommy friends clicked that ever so popular like button and then explained that they weren’t liking the fact that I felt that way rather they completely resonated with how I was feeling. I felt like taking Brennan by the shoulders and saying, “Look kid, I took you to the library this morning can’t you be appreciative of that?” Of course, I didn’t do this; besides there’s really no way of reasoning with anyone under the age of 18 but you better believe that I wanted to. Thankfully my better judgment kicked in.

Isn’t this the truth though? As mothers we give and give and give; I know that all I really want is for someone to say, “thank you.” The irony is that when I was a child I willingly took anything my mother wanted to give to me. Like Brennan, I too badgered and nagged my mom until I got what I wanted and if I didn’t, I’m certain I went into full tantrum mode.

At the end of the day, after my husband had come home and the kids were in bed, I sat back and thought about everything that had happened. I thought about how I was feeling, wondered if what I was doing was more than just wiping butts and making chicken nuggets. Then an image of my own mom popped into my head and I instantly felt guilty. Had I treated her this way? Did she have days like this when I was a child living at home? I’m sure that she did and you know what? Her constant care taking of me has made me the woman I am today. Her selfless nature taught me how to be selfless with my own children.

Mother’s Day is this weekend and my challenge to you is to think of a way to thank your own mom for those difficult days. What will you do?

It started out with an obsession with pajamas. Brennan would get dressed in the morning and by lunchtime he was in a new pair of PJ’s. Afternoon would come and he had to do another PJ change. I thought the PJ phase would make me go insane but I was wrong. Let me introduce you to the cause of my questionable sanity for the last six weeks. Meet Mighty Mouse. This brilliant shirt was a present to Brennan from my in-laws. I think his original love for the shirt came from a misunderstanding that it was Mickey Mouse and then he remembered that his Grandpa and Nana gave it to him. That fact only increased his love for it.

Day in and day out, for what felt like an eternity, Brennan would emerge from his bedroom wearing this bright orange shirt. I really honed my negotiating skills; every outing was a struggle because, of course Mighty Mouse had to be worn, whether or not he was filthy. From what I’ve read most children go through this clothing phase. For my sister, it was a purple dress with red knit tights, at the age of four. For my friend’s daughter it was a tutu with pink leggings. Here’s what I do know from personal experience:

• As difficult as it is, don’t make a big deal out of it. It’s a phase of independence that every child must go through. Really what other things can they really control in their little world? Don’t squash the independence phase.
• No one keeps track of what your child wears every day except for you. Really, why did this shirt bother me so much? No one else cares about it, nor do they really remember what my child is wearing day in and day out.
• Kids will be kids; pick and choose your battles. I found that I had to remind myself of  this frequently.

Has your child gone through this? What did you do? It’s okay, you can vent your frustration here…I won’t tell.

Fast forward a couple decades and insert one baby and well, you’ve got quite the dilemma. Now I need to think about the impact I’m making on the environment not only for myself but for my children who will (hopefully) be here longer than I will be. When my husband and I decided to use cloth diapers on our son it was purely for monetary savings. Neither one of us was thinking about the fact that we would be helping out the environment by producing less waste sitting in a landfill. Shortly after I started using cloth diapers I started to see waste, garbage if you will, differently.

Suddenly I felt guilty about mindlessly throwing anything away; had using cloth diapers altered my view on waste this much? Some may argue that it didn’t but let me share with you the ways that I’ve become greener since we made the decision to use cloth on our babies’ bums:

*Switched from disposable swim diapers to cloth diapers.

*Started using environmentally friendly household cleaners like white distilled vinegar.

*Stopped using tampons and switched over to a menstrual cup that can be reused.

*Started using reusable shopping bags, Ziplock bags, cleaning rags and reusable Swiffer sweepers and dry jet.

*Choosing to use safer, eco-friendly laundry detergent.

I could go on and on but this isn’t about me and the greener choices that I’ve made. This is about you! Think to yourself about the changes that you’ve made since you started using cloth diapers on your baby. Have you made any changes? If you have, tell me about them! I love being inspired by others. And for more information on Earth Day please visit this website.

Minnesota was dumped on by Mother Nature again this week. When I look out my window I have to keep reminding myself that it’s almost the middle of April because my eyes see a scene from February. Last Wednesday my husband, an accountant, worked from home in the morning. In the meantime, I took my shovel to our driveway and started digging a way through the seven inches of snow that had accumulated since the morning rush hour. There’s a lot of time to think when you’re shoveling and since I recently started watching the AMC series Mad Men my thoughts turned to Betty Draper, the stay-at-home mom married to the show’s main hero, Don.

If you haven’t seen the show, Betty is a more realistic portrayal of what a 1960′s upper-middle-class housewife would look like; picture perfect on the outside but trapped and lonely on the inside. There is no way Mrs. Draper would be caught shoveling her driveway, or washing her baby’s diapers, or performing any of the dirty household tasks that I deal with on a daily basis. A moment of judgment swept over me as I shoveled and I considered myself better than Betty; more evolved than her, and wasn’t that a good thing?

Betty Draper, courtesy Lionsgate

That’s when reality hit me smack dab in the face again: I wasn’t better than Betty, and you know why? I wasn’t better than her because I was falling prey to the kind of judgemental thinking that started the “mommy wars” that I so despise. In the show, Betty lives in a world where men are the rulers and women are put on display as pictures of perfection, while children are expected to live in an adult’s world that revolves around the adults that surround them. I’ve only finished the second season of Mad Men, however, my view of Betty has changed drastically from seeing her as a spineless woman, to one whom strategically uses her womanly attributes to her advantage so her voice can be heard.

The evolution of who we are as women is truly fascinating which is why it’s such a tragedy that we’re so willing to judge each other on the vast array of issues in mothering. We have the working moms pitted against the stay-at-home moms, the breastfeeding moms against the formula feeding moms, the modern medicine moms versus the homeopathic moms and I can’t help but wonder why we can’t just encourage each other for being able to make these decisions in our own homes.

Rather than feeling disgusted by another mom’s choice in how she is going to raise her child, shouldn’t I applaud her for being responsible enough to make those decisions for her family? I think so. I think that if we could put aside our differences it would be an amazing network of support that we could create. I imagine that it might be akin to the sense of support and community that’s found in the cloth diaper community: it would be loving, supportive and encouraging. I want to live in that kind of a world, don’t you? Let’s put down our judgmental battle axes and pick up pom poms instead.

And Betty Draper, I’m sorry I so rudely looked down and saw you through my 21st century lenses. I can only hope that I would be able to hold my own during that time in history as you did. To the rest of us moms here’s what I have to say: “WAY TO GO MAMA!!! ROCK THAT MOTHERING!”

When I decided to get pregnant back in 2008 I knew that things would change when it came to my appearance. I anticipated the stretchmarks on my belly, breasts and thighs. I even expected that my hoo ha would most likely never be the same especially if I had a vaginal birth. I even expected to be somewhat sleep deprived for the next ten years. What I did not expect was the lack of control my pelvic floor would undergo once my darling son was brought into this world. I got pregnant with my second child in 2010. A little nausea here and there but overall I kept my food down unlike my first pregnancy; however, after indulging in a craving of oranges and orange juice, I threw it all up. I also completely wet my pants!

You heard me correctly, I’m baring it all today friends and talking to you about how I apparently cannot cough or throw up without wetting myself. Recently, I came down with the stomach flu. There I was, hunched over in my bathroom, head resting in the crook of my arm that was placed against the cold porcelain chamber pot praying that this would be the last time. Then it happened; you guessed it and there’s really nothing left in my tummy but that didn’t stop this nasty bug. I wasn’t prepared for this part of becoming a mother…

Not only was I feeling yucky, disgusting and spewing the little that was left in my poor stomach but I ended up peeing all over the rug! There is nothing as glamorous as having the stomach flu and nothing prettier than doing it after you’ve had two babies within four years. I was amazed with myself. I could not believe what had just happened. I mean, really? It was like my own mother’s worst fear had come to fruition; I had regressed back to not being potty trained. (Yes, in this no-holds-bar post I’m confessing that my mom used to worry that I would never become toilet trained.)

As I carried the urine soaked toilet rug down to the washing machine I chuckled to myself, “Is this really what I had thought of when I decided to join the ranks of motherhood?” My 26 year old self, back in 2008, would have been appalled with the scene that Friday morning. I think in my own immaturity I would have balked at the thought or even turned my nose up. Peed pants, urine soaked bathroom rug and all I would never trade any of this for a chance to have my pre-pregnancy pelvic floor back. I love being a mom and truly view this as the most significant job I will ever have in my life. Look at the face of your kiddos today, Mama. Kiss their sweet cheeks and tell them you love them with all of your heart; pee soaked pants and all!

I have one fur baby, a beagle named Chula, who is eight years old. And the most significant job that I will ever have is being a mama to two wonderful littles, a four year old boy named Brennan and a 21 month old girl named Kendall. Both of my kiddos were cloth diapered and although I’d love to tell you that I was the genius behind that decision I, sadly, cannot take the credit for that one. After a friend decided to cloth diaper her first child, Ben started investigate the benefits and he was hooked. I really had no choice since we wanted to save money while I stayed at home.

What has amazed me about cloth diapering are the other cloth diapering parents that I’ve met over the last four years. The cloth diaper community is unique; it’s friendly, helpful and very kind. While there’s a vast array of crunchiness from staunchly crunchy to semi-crunchy I have found most everyone to be welcoming of all viewpoints. My little sister is pregnant with her first and she is also going to use cloth diapers. She’s commented to me on the same thing: the cloth diapering community is so helpful and nice. I’m thrilled to be writing “Written by Mama Monday” for Thirsties. I am very excited to be blogging for them because I think it’s Thirsties has the best cover ever!!!!!!

You can read more about me and my adventures on my personal blog, FirstTimeMom, where my motto is no matter how many kids you have you’ll always be a first time mom. After all, there’s a first time for everything! So tell me a little bit about yourself and really, I’m pleased to meet you!

 Below is a list of a few of Liza’s more popular posts:

Cooper and I Try Out New Thirsties Duo All In Ones!

A Day in the Life of One Stay-at-Mom

How Disposable Diapers Have Changed Potty Training

Potty Training in Cloth Vs. Disposables:  an Intro

One of My All Time Favorite Baby Products

Why I Love My Booty Love

Have you ever wondered what makes modern disposable diapers so super-absorbent? It’s a chemical compound called Sodium Polyacrylate. This compound binds to liquids and can hold 200 to 300 times its weight, turning from a powdery substance into a gooey gel. It is also used in some potting soils to help the soil retain water. If you’ve ever changed a diaper and found small gel balls on your child’s skin, it is most likely the Sodium Polyacrylate crystals. Have you ever seen a child who has gone swimming in one of these? It almost look like the child is holding a balloon between his or her legs and the diaper looks ready to burst. Sodium Polyacrylate crystals were once used in tampons until they were later removed due to their relation to Toxic Shock Syndrome.

The bleaching process also leaves many chemicals behind in the fibers of disposable diapers. Chlorine bleach leaves behind toxins called “dioxins.” Dioxins can cause problems in the endocrine systems (hormones) and are also carcinogens. Dioxins are found in many brands of disposable diapers and prolonged exposure to these dioxins may be related to infertility later in life. Certain cloth diapers may also contain trace levels of dioxins due to the bleach used to treat the fibers in the cloth, however these dioxins are washed out during the one to two pre-washes suggested before the baby ever wears the diapers. Babies wearing disposable diapers are exposed to these dioxins up to 24 hours a day.

Disposable diapers also contain chemicals and compounds that act as respiratory irritants that can cause asthma and asthma-like symptoms. These are toluene, xylene, ethylbenzene, styrene and isoproplybenzene. The rise of asthma rates and the introduction of certain chemicals and scents into diapers appear to be linked. Cloth diapers do not out-gas any of these chemicals. What’s more, some diapers also use special dyes that change color to indicate that the diaper is wet and of course, plastics and adhesives are used to make the diaper tabs.

So are disposable diapers unsafe to use? Obviously many families use them and have no immediate problems–or at least none that they would think to link to the diapers they are using. The most serious health concerns linked to using disposable diapers don’t occur until later in life–such as childhood asthma and male infertility. As for me, my baby is wearing cloth diapers and I’m glad I don’t need to wonder what sort chemicals they are out-gassing or if he is absorbing carcinogenic dioxins through his tush. I feel good about that.

*This post originally posted on our blog on May 9, 2011.